It's a juggle...

I'm a working mom in rural Nova Scotia. In fact, I'm a teacher.
Lately I've been at the brunt of or reading / hearing many insults flung at teachers over school cancellations and snow days.

Call it PMS. Call it mom-craziness from the staying-at-home-with-the-fighting-kids storm days. Call it pure bitching.

Call it what you want.

I'm gonna rant...

I'm not gonna rant about how good I've got it as a teacher. I'm not even gonna step on the "You-Could've-Chosen-This-Career-Too" soapbox. Been there. Had to do that. (Got no further ahead, by the way.) Instead, I want to shed some insight into what the past week / next couple of weeks will mean for me.

It's a reporting period. On each of those storm days when I wasn't being a mom to my kids (and had internet service) and every night when my little darlings are snuggled into bed, I've been sitting at this godforsaken laptop til 11 or 12 at night planning lessons and writing report cards. See, I don't want to half-arse them. I want them to say something. I want these report card comments to really mean something. (After all, I am a parent, too... I at least know the kind of jargon I don't want to hear.) This process takes time. It takes lots of it. Add to that the frustration of many storm days when students couldn't finish the last bits of their final projects... or couldn't hand them in... or didn't have the means at home to finish them... all of these things, to me, are very important considerations as a teacher and a parent.

I have a heart...

With reporting period comes parent/teacher interviews/ conferences, whatever you want to call them. (Personally, I think the ones in my school are useless because I would much rather have my 10-13yr old students be a part of the conversation... something which is seen as a no-no for reasons I won't/don't/can't understand... and all of this is just simply something you'll have to read one of these days on my teacher blog.) These parent interviews happen on a Thursday evening and Friday morning to accommodate parent work schedules. Wait. What was that? Parent work schedules? Oh yes... right... I'm a parent, too. Frig that in this case. It doesn't matter.

See, in order for me to participate in this aspect of my job... as I'm expected to.... after hours... I have to arrange for alternate childcare for these two days.

• Problem A: On the day where parent teacher interviews happen in the evening, I do not have sufficient time to drive to the sitter's after school, drive kidlets home, and drive back to school in time for the interviews. (Remember I said I live in rural NS. That said amount of commuting equals almost 90 minutes of driving... way more if I follow the speed limit and watch for icy conditions or take roaming large wildlife into consideration.) I tried this once. It wasn't pretty. 
• Problem B: Because it's of my own volition that my child(ren) can't be at the sitter's, I still pay her. (Fair enough. I think of it as vacation pay for her.) But... if my husband can't take off work that day, I have to get someone else (usually my mother) which usually means at the very least paying for gas money for the replacement sitter. 
• (Also, my sitter usually takes the Friday of these parent teacher interviews to travel with her family since her children, like mine, are not in school. Again... understandable. Long weekends are nice. She's a mom to her own children, too! Holiday pay. Deserved.)

So, I pay double (or more) the money in childcare to stay after school for these interviews, as I'm contractually required. Fine and dandy. Done. Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Breath.

Also happening in the next few weeks are ski trips for our school to the local ski hill. YAY! We are so lucky to have a ski hill close by for our students to enjoy. But, wait... for me... that working, rural mom... this ain't so easy.

Do I want to go with my students to see them wow me with their moves on the hill? Yes!
Do I want to go so that kid who I know won't bring lunch money will be able to have a hot lunch on that day at the chalet and will really be able to feel as part of the whole experience? Yes! Of course. I'd buy that lunch for that student in a heartbeat.

But... it isn't that easy. Sigh. And... some people think I'm trying to cop out.

• Problem A (or should it be C? Frig it. I'm calling it A. A different scenario here.) Because we're rural, and because of bussing times and schedules and all that jazz, when our school goes skiing, they go to the hill for 10am and stay until 4pm to make the whole trip worthwhile. (We, as a school, have a heart!) This means we do not return to school until 5pm.

Not a problem for most. But for me with one child at the sitter, one in school... it's a problem. Kid A isn't old enough to be included in the ski trip. Kid B is at the sitter's. Kid A leaves school on the bus after school to get home at 4pm to... no one. It doesn't work. Hubby doesn't get home from work til 4:30. Kid A would have to walk a kilometre up our rural road... all by herself... to be home by herself... at 7 years old. Can't happen. (Besides, if it's a Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday, she's got lessons to get to after school...which are another 20 minute drive away, too.)

But, wait. Shit. We forgot Kid B. Oh yes... he's crying at the sitter's and the sitter is calling cuz she has somewhere to be and I don't leave him at her house until that hour... and even if I could leave him there...I still won't get home until after 6pm... and where's Kid A again?!

(Oh...And before it's suggested, hubby works an hour and 15min drive in the other direction from the sitter. Sigh. Rural working life.)

So, I can't be one of the chaperones on my students' skiing trip. It bothers the hell out of me. But it bothers me even more that people don't even try to understand why it can't happen. (I wonder if these glaring-eyed people would like to find me a concierge to coordinate/babysit/chauffeur my children on these days?)

But wait. Wait. It will happen... it will!

My husband has booked... over a month in advance... a vacation day... a day off work to be with Kid B, so that our kids  (that some people think can't be my priority in this scenario) will have someone to care for them and be home to meet Kid A getting off the bus and drive them to lessons so that I can go to the ski hill with my class...

And not get home until after 6pm... And probably spend a bunch of money on hot chocolates and lunch for that student, (if he goes skiing that day)...

But, I've got it easy. And I'm a lucky, plush-arse-jobbed witch-with-a-B, to have those storm days off.

Yep.

Breath. Sigh. Shoulder slump.

/End Rant.

2013

New year's resolutions. Blech. Everyone will be posting new blog posts via twitter that have to do with resolutions. You know it. I know it.

As I sit here with a glass of wine listening to 80s one-hit-wonders, I wonder... what will 2013 bring?
Better yet, what will I bring to 2013?

I can sit here and make silly-ass promises that I know I won't keep. Why bother? Instead, I'm making a conscious effort to change little things in my day-to-day life. The usuals are there... as usual... eat better, be more active, swear less, spend less, etc.

But the majority of my efforts rest inside of me... in my heart. A little bit of conscious effort here and there to make things better, not only for me, but for those around me, too.  You may not notice them. That's ok. I'm not doing them for you, or you, or her, or him, but I'm doing them in small increments for me.  I'm hoping to be the one who will see these little things pay-off in smaller, then larger ways as the year progresses.

I plan to look back at this each month to see if I've set out on the right foot.

C'mon, 2013!

Here's to you!

Remembrance...

Growing up I didn't really get Remembrance Day. I knew it was a holiday. I knew I didn't have to go to school; I had to wear a poppy and so on. I don't blame my parents for not truly relaying to me the purpose behind Remembrance Day. I do sort of blame my schooling, as I have no impacting memories of a meaningful Remembrance Day service. But I think I just simply didn't get it. Sad.

The one thing I do remember about Remembrance Day is a local radio program would do a Remembrance Day program each year. The music was old; it was touching; it was, to me authentic. It really spoke to me. I truly believe that the majority of any understanding I had of Remembrance Day growing up came from one song in particular:



I still love that song.

Each year I share with my students (and my kids) various songs to help them understand what Remembrance Day is all about... just in case some of them need to hear it to really feel it.

Music speaks.

Here are some other videos / songs that speak to me & Remembrance Day. Lest We Forget.












I'm glad Remembrance Day is something we honour and embrace nowadays. May our children grow to love, learn and understand.

Labelling our kids...

I was just glancing through some pictures on Facebook, and I was aghast at the amount of brand name labelling I'm seeing on kids.

It makes me stop and wonder... what does this teach our kids? Is that name on that $50 tee necessary in order to validate your child's importance? Existence? I've heard that argument. I've heard mothers say, "They have to have the right brand name clothes in order to even be considered cool."

Really? Is that the kind of persona or image you want your children to live up to? Brand name = cool. No brand name = uncool?

Thankfully, my kid goes to a school where just about anything goes. Yes, some kids have a few brand name hoodies, or tees -- Hollister, Lulu Lemon, Aeropostale are the big ones -- but if a kid shows up in any old name jeans and a sweater, no one really cares. Mind you, there are some kids who ONLY wear brand name, but they're not seen in any different light. Sometimes they're even called out on "wasting their money".

I'd like to think that my kids will be wearing what's comfortable, what they like, what they think looks good in the years to come. I'd like to think they will learn the value of money, the idea behind a "name". I'd like to think they will befriend others based on much more than their outward appearance or the clothes they are (or aren't) wearing.

Am I crazy in these thoughts? Am I setting my kids up to be "uncool"?

This is getting the rounds on my FB feed this evening:

Many parents are posting this on FB this evening. I see lots of truths, both as a mom and a teacher. If anyone knows the author, please let me know in the comments so I can give credit where credit is due. Thoughts?

Here's what parents need to know:

That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
 That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.)
They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.

That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.
They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.