I would like to honourably decline, thank you...

That Mother of the Year award? Well... I don't want it. I want sleep instead!

Please, all gods of virtue and goodness, help me from being an old, washed up cranky arse today!

It's been a full 4 weeks since I've been back to work from maternity leave, and while it's been quite smooth, I think it's caught up to me. I'm TIRED! We're not talking need-a-nap-today-to-cure-it tired. We're talking full on coffee-is-not-enough, my-legs-hurt, f-you-headache-that-won't-go-away, if-you-wake-one-more-time-child-I'll... TIRED!

It's presently 6:52am. Because my dear son (DS) decided that 11:27pm was his mini-morning last night, I only got to sleep at around.... oh... 1:20am. So, with the 5:57am wake time, that's... well, if you're well-rested enough, you can do the math! Seriously, the only other time I remember being this tired was when DS was about 6 weeks old and started to pull all nighters. I'm functioning, as I was then, on some warped, out-of-date, really pissed off version of autopilot! :(

With this lack of sleep, or just plain tiredness (because I believe there's a difference), my "dragoness" alter ego rears it's ugly head. (It's truly ugly!) Amid life, I'm still trying to tea party with the daughter, smile, be happy-you-can-count-on-me teacher lady, and (cough) keep my husband from finding other extracurricular partners (cough, cough). Not tonight, honey, I'm even too tired to tell you I have a headache, sorry.

So to my immediate surrounding posse, I say:

1. I'm sorry I'm snapping at you.
2. No, DD, I'm not mad at you, that look is just a semi-permanent grimace of sleep angst.
3. Mother, go pound sand. I don't care how you, or your mother, or anyone else you hold in high esteem coped 'way back then' with 17 kids, minimal ammenities, and farm animals.
4. DS, please get over this cold and return to your regularly scheduled sleeping program, which wasn't great, but I'd really appreciate a long series of re-runs right about now!
5. Honey, keep close to the palm sisters for a while longer.

And to the greater entourage of life: 

That mother of the year award, you can stick it!

Sincerely,
the tired me
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz